A Travellerspoint blog

By this Author: jayvee

and i am hurt...again?

GARRRBE! sana last na ito. actually ayoko na. kailangan lang ilabas.

WHEW. So, i am talking about this person. i am talking about you. oo ikaw. i just thought of writing this. baka lang naman manhid ka or hindi mo lang ito ma-gets.

Then you came. We saw each other, we shook hands, we talked, we laughed, we watched a movie, we ate. What else? Then you left, you walked away for awhile which was real ok for me.

I got home one afternoon, i was alone - i checked my email and to my surprise you just came in. You really made a good good entrance - without buzzing or notifying me either. For a couple of days you were a snub, we didnt talk and whatever. Plans were ruined, not even iteneray was followed on schedule.

What hurts me more is the fact (which I knew recently) was you were just alone for a day or two. Again, you didnt buzz nor notify me. We shouldve watched EQUUS for godsake!

And now, you made you final curtain call, your final entrance. And I was delighted, until "another one" showed up. You were with somebody. I dont care who the hell that "somebody" is. That "somebody" maybe your cousing, your schoolmate, your mom's friend's son or whatever. You shouldve just limit that "somebody's" exposure - that not to the extent you would murmur in front of me -- "uhm, hey, are you going out". to tell you the truth, shit ka.

Pero alam mo medyo na turn off ako nung nakita ko ulit profile mo and your pics na parang pinagpiyestahan ko. I said to myself, "wag ka na", "wala na ito", "joke time lang to, tutal mawawala ka lang din naman". But I was wrong - when I saw you again, I was happy that as if I could die.

(WAIT, naguguluhan na ako)

Kahit number 2 ka lang

Yes, you're just number two. There would always be a number one. To tell you the truth, in my case that number one is not a fairytale/fictious character. Out of reach lang siya at times. Wala lang connection.

Yes, oo, number two ka lang. Sorry. Kaya number two ka lang kasi ang layo mo. Mas out of reach ka. Mas walang connection. HELLLOOO!!! Pero you know even you're just number two - you're different. Iba ka din naman, thats why crush kita. Kaya nga ako may feelings eh. Pero wait, ang labo parin. (help me, anyone!!!)

So ayun na nga, bakit ba ganoon kahit pangalawa ka lang. I cant say - paramihan ng exposure? Ganon?
Nakakatuwa ka.

WHEW.again. I said goodbye. Shet naman bakit ganitoooo.....lagi nalang akong iniiwanan. Literally, i am always left alone (remember why I hate airports?) WAAAAAH.
Honestly, I think this is the worst goodbye I said to you. Yes, maybe I werent that much attached anymore because we didnt have the luxury of time like what happened a year ago. Pero bakit mas worst ito eh ngayon nga ako hindi mas-attached. Siguro dahil iba na yung level ng feelings ko (wahahaha).

No tokens this time. No talks. Again, just your hands and your killer smile.


May kanta nga pala ako sayo.

Gotta catch that plane at 7:30
Why haven't you come to say goodbye
Time is running out and I'm still waiting
I'm so lost without you, I could die
Yesterday you said you loved me
Everything seemed to be fine
Today you're not here, I'm so lonely
It's the waiting that's driving me out of my mind

Don't know how I'll sing in that big city
How can I perform if you're not there
This will be the worst of all my journeys
The image of your face will follow me everywhere

I need your tender kisses
The feel of your hands, your caress
Your perfume has me burning
My heart is yearning to touch you
I need you so much

If you're not here, by my side
Can't hold back the tears
I try to hide
Don't think I can take it
I know I won't make it
Make it without you

If you're not here, by my side
Only your love keeps me alive
No sense in dreaming
My life has no meaning
If you're not here

I need your tender kisses
The feel of your hands, your caress
Your perfume has me burning
My heart is yearning to touch you
I need you so much

If you're not here, by my side
Can't hold back the tears
I try to hide
Don't think I can take it
I know I won't make it
Make it withou you

If you're not here, by my side
Only your love keeps me alive
No sense in dreaming
My life has no meaning
If you're not here

Posted by jayvee 11:03 Comments (0)

So much better...

Excerpt from the song So Much Better from Legally Blonde

All of this time I've planed,
I'd be patient, and,
You would love me again.

You'd come to respect my mind,
and at last you'd find,
You could love me again.

And I have turned my whole world
upside down,
trying not to let you go...
Watching you walk away
is like a fatal blow.

Posted by jayvee 00:38 Comments (0)

Ang Elevator


Sabi nila ang pagmamahal parang elevator, kung puno na, bakit mo pa ipagsisiksikan ang sarili mo gayong meron namang hagdanan? Hindi mo lang pinapansin.

Pero, bakit mo pa kailangan maghagdan gayong babalikan ka naman ng elevator? Kailangan mo lang maghintay.


Posted by jayvee 02:36 Comments (0)

and I am hurt...

I am hurt. shet. Seryoso ako. Ngayon lang ito. Promise.

Ever since I knew that I would be seeing you, I was thrilled and I seemed to be the happiest person alive. Your coming was such a relief after all the loneliness that I've been through.

There then, I saw you by past midnight. You were taller than I expected, and still you have the same scent since we last met a few years back. You shook my hand with your first hello and your killer smile. I felt I was surrounded by butterflies all over. I had jitters. As the days past, you never talked nor even shared some stories. Dont worry, I knew you and I expected it. Your smile (promise talaga!) and the way you eat and also your diction makes my day.

Then you left for a short vacation with the others. We never had a share of goodbyes since we'll be seeing again after a couple of days. Anyhoo, I suppose you just dont care at all. Hindi mabigat sa damdamin ko yun kasi nga naman magkikita pa talaga ulit. And siguro, its much better so I wouldn't be that attached at all kasi kung hindi magiging reason ka lang ng pag da-drama ko.

Just today when I knew, I would be seeing you less than what's already planned. I thought we would be sharing a couple of lunches and dinners and now its somehow impossible. Ang buong akala ko ang mga tao lang sa paligid mo ang ayaw kung nasaan dapat ang mga bagay-bagay, yun pala - its you. How dare you. (Sorry, magulo talaga - i couldnt give more hints, HAHA)

And again, you would be back in your own place and I suppose you just dont care at all. Ganyan na naman eh. But still, I expect a last goodbye - a last handshake and perhaps another token from you just like you did a few years ago. Another CD case perhaps?

Alam ko naman, time would heal this wounds (huhhh?) or maybe if I see this or that. Pero grabe pag ikaw, ikaw talaga eh. I hate you. :(

Haaay. Panira ka sa exams ko. Baka ikaw ang maisulat ko dun. Punyemas.

Posted by jayvee 03:34 Comments (0)

UST Central Library

omigod moment!

Since we are doing a research for the great Asparagus plant, my friend and I headed to the UST Miguel de Benavides Library - or simply, the UST Central Library.

This is the back part of the UST Library facing the Quadri Park. Sooo like Spain!

Its my first time to enter the library this semester, wala siyang laman nung summer kasi it was being renovated. I was awe by its classy feel sa entrance at medyo na iintriga lang ako kung ano ang drama effect na gustong palabasin ng mga violet-covered lights or basically lampara if im not mistaken.

I went to the lib para magresearch gamit ang internet station doon - wala pa akong panahon i-tour ang buong library. Anyhoo, i'm sure i will be there just like forever pag nagsimula na ang bakbakan sa pag-aaral.

Pagpasok ko sa internet station, parang wala naman akong napansin na pagbabago until I reached the computer. I was shocked when I saw na MAC na ang operating system. Nice! Yun nga lang sana lahat nalang pati yung monitor, keyboard, mouse diba? Pero sige ok lang naman atleast Samsung flat screen narin ang mga monitor. Jusko, dapat lang mag level-up naman kahit papaano ang UST. Ganito narin kaya sa ibang internet stations sa different floors ng library? Sana nga. I'll check. HAHA.

kahit papaano. At least diba.
photo from djtxlr.com

Posted by jayvee 01:37 Comments (0)

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