A Travellerspoint blog

and i am hurt...again?

GARRRBE! sana last na ito. actually ayoko na. kailangan lang ilabas.

WHEW. So, i am talking about this person. i am talking about you. oo ikaw. i just thought of writing this. baka lang naman manhid ka or hindi mo lang ito ma-gets.

Then you came. We saw each other, we shook hands, we talked, we laughed, we watched a movie, we ate. What else? Then you left, you walked away for awhile which was real ok for me.

I got home one afternoon, i was alone - i checked my email and to my surprise you just came in. You really made a good good entrance - without buzzing or notifying me either. For a couple of days you were a snub, we didnt talk and whatever. Plans were ruined, not even iteneray was followed on schedule.

What hurts me more is the fact (which I knew recently) was you were just alone for a day or two. Again, you didnt buzz nor notify me. We shouldve watched EQUUS for godsake!

And now, you made you final curtain call, your final entrance. And I was delighted, until "another one" showed up. You were with somebody. I dont care who the hell that "somebody" is. That "somebody" maybe your cousing, your schoolmate, your mom's friend's son or whatever. You shouldve just limit that "somebody's" exposure - that not to the extent you would murmur in front of me -- "uhm, hey, are you going out". to tell you the truth, shit ka.

Pero alam mo medyo na turn off ako nung nakita ko ulit profile mo and your pics na parang pinagpiyestahan ko. I said to myself, "wag ka na", "wala na ito", "joke time lang to, tutal mawawala ka lang din naman". But I was wrong - when I saw you again, I was happy that as if I could die.

(WAIT, naguguluhan na ako)

Kahit number 2 ka lang

Yes, you're just number two. There would always be a number one. To tell you the truth, in my case that number one is not a fairytale/fictious character. Out of reach lang siya at times. Wala lang connection.

Yes, oo, number two ka lang. Sorry. Kaya number two ka lang kasi ang layo mo. Mas out of reach ka. Mas walang connection. HELLLOOO!!! Pero you know even you're just number two - you're different. Iba ka din naman, thats why crush kita. Kaya nga ako may feelings eh. Pero wait, ang labo parin. (help me, anyone!!!)

So ayun na nga, bakit ba ganoon kahit pangalawa ka lang. I cant say - paramihan ng exposure? Ganon?
Nakakatuwa ka.

WHEW.again. I said goodbye. Shet naman bakit ganitoooo.....lagi nalang akong iniiwanan. Literally, i am always left alone (remember why I hate airports?) WAAAAAH.
Honestly, I think this is the worst goodbye I said to you. Yes, maybe I werent that much attached anymore because we didnt have the luxury of time like what happened a year ago. Pero bakit mas worst ito eh ngayon nga ako hindi mas-attached. Siguro dahil iba na yung level ng feelings ko (wahahaha).

No tokens this time. No talks. Again, just your hands and your killer smile.

UNTIL THEN.

--------------------------------------------
May kanta nga pala ako sayo.

Gotta catch that plane at 7:30
Why haven't you come to say goodbye
Time is running out and I'm still waiting
I'm so lost without you, I could die
Yesterday you said you loved me
Everything seemed to be fine
Today you're not here, I'm so lonely
It's the waiting that's driving me out of my mind

Don't know how I'll sing in that big city
How can I perform if you're not there
This will be the worst of all my journeys
The image of your face will follow me everywhere

I need your tender kisses
The feel of your hands, your caress
Your perfume has me burning
My heart is yearning to touch you
I need you so much

If you're not here, by my side
Can't hold back the tears
I try to hide
Don't think I can take it
I know I won't make it
Make it without you

If you're not here, by my side
Only your love keeps me alive
No sense in dreaming
My life has no meaning
If you're not here

I need your tender kisses
The feel of your hands, your caress
Your perfume has me burning
My heart is yearning to touch you
I need you so much

If you're not here, by my side
Can't hold back the tears
I try to hide
Don't think I can take it
I know I won't make it
Make it withou you

If you're not here, by my side
Only your love keeps me alive
No sense in dreaming
My life has no meaning
If you're not here

Posted by jayvee 11:03

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